by Pastor Gene
This morning I’m reposting an insightful article from FamilyLife ministries written by Dave Boehi. In it, Dave explores in simple, straightforward language the three great purposes God intends for marriage. Hold your own marriage up against these and ask whether or not its achieving God’s objectives. As always, I’ve included reflective questions at the end.
God’s Purposes for Marriage:
The Uncomplicated yet Difficult Path to Oneness in Marriage
by Dave Boehi
While in Southern California on a business trip, I stopped for a red light early one morning. Waiting at the intersection, I noticed a construction crew already busy renovating an old restaurant. Like ants, the carpenters and other workers were scrambling through the building, and almost every one of them possessed the same thing: blueprints. I saw blueprints carried under arms, rolled out on window ledges, and pointed at excitedly.
The light turned green and I sped away, but the scene lingered in my memory, reminding me of a simple truth: You don’t build or renovate a structure without blueprints. Or if you do, how will that building turn out?
Unfortunately, too many couples have not compared notes on their blueprints for marriage. Like those construction workers, every husband and every wife has a set of prints, but I’ve seen too many relationships where his and hers don’t match—their expectations and purposes differ. If you think this might be true in your marriage, how do you get on the same page in your relationship and build your “house” from identical plans?
The only answer I know is to put you in touch with the Architect, the original Designer, the One who has recorded His blueprints for marriage in Scripture. As you journey through marriage together, you want to grow in your love for each other, to experience life fully, and to be truly one. But what seemed so effortless as an engaged couple may now be an elusive dream. That’s why you need to understand God’s blueprints—His purposes for marriage.
These three purposes will give your marriage a sense of direction, internal stability, and the stamp of God’s design. They will lift your marriage above the everyday, run-of-the-mill relationship and place it on a high and lofty spiritual plane.
Purpose One: Mirror God’s image.
After God created the earth and the animals, He said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” The account continues, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:26-27).
God’s first purpose for creating man and woman and joining them in marriage was to mirror His image on earth. Center your attention on those words, mirror His image. The Hebrew word for “mirror” means to reflect God, to magnify, exalt, and glorify Him. Your marriage should reflect God’s image to a world that desperately needs to see who He is. Because we’re created in the image of God, people who wouldn’t otherwise know what God is like should be able to look at us and get a glimpse.
Purpose Two: Complete each other and experience companionship.
Scripture clearly outlines a second purpose for marriage: to mutually complete each other. That’s why God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Adam felt isolated in the garden, and so God created woman to eliminate his aloneness. Writing to the first-century church in Corinth, Paul echoed the teachings in Genesis 2 when he asserted, “However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
I was convinced that Barbara was “the one,” because I sensed that she could complete me as well as be a wonderful companion. Now, many years later, I really understand how much I need her. The two of us are like a computer and software. Standing alone, the computer and software are impressive, but combined as a team, they can accomplish so much more! And that’s exactly what God had in mind when He performed the first marriage with an original groom and bride named Adam and Eve.
You need each other. You recognize that now. But if you build your marriage according to God’s blueprints, as the years go by, you will really appreciate the genius of how God has custom-made your mate for you.
Purpose Three: Multiply a godly legacy.
A line of godly descendants—your children—will carry a reflection of God’s character to the next generation. Your plans for children may still be in the future, but if He gives you a child, you will be in for an amazing adventure.
God’s original plan called for the home to be a sort of greenhouse—a nurturing place where children grow up to learn character, values, and integrity. Too many couples today seem to be raising their children without a sense of mission and direction. They aren’t imparting to them the importance of leaving a spiritual legacy of changed lives. They aren’t evaluating their lives in light of the Great Commission of Matthew 28:18-20, where Christ commands us to preach the gospel to all nations.
One of your assignments is to impart a sense of destiny, a spiritual mission, to your children. Your responsibility as a couple is to make your home a place where your children learn what it means to love and obey God.
Your home should be a training center to equip your children to look at the needs of people and the world through the eyes of Jesus Christ. If children do not embrace this spiritual mission as they grow up, they may live their entire lives without experiencing the privilege of God using them in a significant way.
Your marriage is far more important than you may have ever imagined because it affects God’s reputation on this planet. That’s why it’s essential for you to set Jesus Christ apart as the Builder of your home.
To consider …
- Think of the genius of God’s design for marriage!
What jumps out at you as you consider the three divine purposes discussed above?
In which of them are you excelling? Where are you falling short?
What adjustments can you make to better realized God’s desire for you and your spouse?
- FamilyLife ministry is fond of saying that our marriage should “tell the truth about God.”
The idea is that our marriage is always ‘preaching’ a message to those who are watching.
What are some of the recent sermon’s your marriage has been preaching to those around you? To your children?
In this vein, consider the impact of how you speak to or about your spouse in the presence of others.
What might they be learning about marriage even from something as subtle as the tone of your voice?
Would those who know you best honestly say that you see your spouse as God’s good gift to you, designed in every way to make you better?
How might this be impacting what they think about the Christian faith?
- One of the most beautiful of God’s purposes for marriage is that we might leave behind us a godly legacy for future generations.
How have we lost sight of this important responsibility?
How has the culture contributed to nullifying godly legacy?
What consequences are we facing nationally as a result of a shrinking legacy of godliness?
(Consider Psalm 33:12a: “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord …” and Proverbs 14:34: “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.”
- What are some ways that you can work to leave a godly legacy behind you – whether or not you have children of your own?
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man and women get married they have children but some timein does not work out so one parent leaves an does not care fro her children bu the father loves his children and takes care of them then even tho the mother should still love her children. marrige should last .
Dave and I always pray that others will see our desire to minister grace, compassion and sacrificial love to each other as well as to those He has placed in our sphere of influence. I think it is breathtakingly beautiful and other-worldly when we operate in His Spirit,taking seriously our God-ordained roles as servants to each other and to our brethren.
One thing God impressed upon my heart from the beginning was to nurture my children and bring them up in the admonition of the Lord. My 2 daughters were quite young in the beginning and I got a children’s story book Bible and started there. As they got older I used child centered devotionals. This continued with my other daughter and son. The point I want to make is that God made it clear that I was accountable to train and nurture them to know about the Lord Jesus and the gospel. This should not be left to the church, Sunday School exclusively, they can be compliment but the responsibility is on the father to set the spiritual atmosphere in the home, especially by example. I will tell you that I made my share of blunders but made the sacrifices and persevered by God’s grace and guidance. I prayed with and for them. I tried to the best of my ability to encourage them to seek the Lord and develop their own personal relationship. I rejoice and praise the Lord for His grace and mercy, as all 4 of the children are in the Lord and the ones with their own children are continuing the nurturing process.
Great Pastor Dave